Thursday, December 31, 2009

Spin the Bottle

Original airdate: March 9, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present the seventh and final episode of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico. 

Joking and laughter dominate the group's final evening together. Most people are sensible enough to go to bed at a decent hour, but, as has become their custom, our intrepid heroines party with their hard-drinking cronies until they are kicked out of the hotel bar.

Thus it is quite late by the time Miko and Eden return to their room. Yumiko falls into bed exhausted, but Eden, aware that the damiana bottle is at stake, forces herself to stay awake and work on the word puzzles. She solves the first 36 with ease, but soon must concede that she is too tired to continue. Reluctantly, she turns out the light with a vow that she will tackle the rest first thing in the morning.

But between the howling of the wind and the caterwauling of the hotel's resident cats, there is little rest for the wicked and the weary. Bleary-eyed, our fearless females fumble through breakfast and stumble onto the bus at 7:30.

They perk up during a short hike to see some cave paintings. Several local school children and the more able-bodied among the tour group assist the elderly and less agile and everyone negotiates the trail without mishap.

To keep the natives from getting too restless on the long ride, Karla puts them to work making origami whales to decorate the bus' windows. Naturally, Yumiko's whale is the sexiest of all, its crisp folds and perfectly curled spout made with the precision, patience, and creativity that only an anal-retentive, detail-oriented, Tokyo-raised architect can muster.

Seeing others working steadily away on the word games, Eden ignores her tendency to get sick when reading on a moving vehicle and hunkers down, all her focus centered on solving the puzzles and winning the damiana bottle.

But will it be enough? Her competition is clever, highly educated, and well-traveled. And the clock is ticking away relentlessly. Yumiko tries to reassure her, but by the time the bus stops for lunch, Eden is anxious, uncertain, and uneasy (not to mention a bit nauseous).

Lunch comes to and end and the bus resumes its journey north. The moment of truth has arrived. Karla reviews the answers to the word puzzles. With bated breath, the tour group awaits the final tally and the announcement of the victor.

It is… Eden!

Karla hands over the bottle to an exultant Eden, who cradles it in her arms and caresses it lovingly. "I'd just like to thank all of the little people who made this possible," she says, pretending to choke up.

Lively conversation and friendly banter help pass the time. All too soon, the bus pulls in front of a hotel in Estero Beach. It is here that most of the group from California's central coast disembarks; 20 of them have arranged to extend their stay in Mexico for two days to allow them to explore Baja's wine country.

"Hey, why don't you join us?" The invitation is extended by the group's de facto leader and is echoed by the others.

"I wish we could."

"Well then, when the whales migrate back north, we're having a party at a Mexican restaurant overlooking the ocean. We'll drink margaritas and toast the whales. We'd love for you to be there."

With genuine regret our intrepid heroines say their goodbyes and reboard the bus. It makes its way to Ensenada, where the remaining passengers decide to forgo shopping in favor of drinking. They head for Hussong's Cantina, birthplace of the margarita.

The floor of Hussong's is littered with peanut shells. The air is scented with smoke, sunscreen, and lime. Cruise ship passengers and locals alike crowd small tables. A mariachi band plays loudly for two comically drunk Mexicans.

Downing margaritas here, where the drink was invented, seems a fitting final activity. The group finishes its libations. It's time – unfortunately – to bring this epic journey to a close.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Thar She Blows!

Original airdate: March 8, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 6 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico. (A note to our frum readers: the following contains profanity.)

The next morning, thoughts of the damiana bottle are far from everyone's mind. The focus is on wildlife – the kind that does not stay up so late swapping stories with new friends that they get kicked out of the bar… again.

The bus heads for the marshes of Guerrero Negro, home to prodigious numbers of wading birds. Eden is given the "jump seat" right next to the bus driver so that she can hop out at a moment's notice to take photos. The marshes do not disappoint. Dozens of yellow-crowned and black-crowned night-herons hunt in the shallows. Ospreys fly overhead bearing fish to feed their newborn chicks.

The tour group lingers too long in the marshes and the driver rushes them back to town to board vans bound for the lagoon. At the dock, Eden and Miko are thrilled when the young whale biologist, Zac, joins them on their boat.

"Whale! Twelve o'clock!"

"Whale! Three o' clock!"

"Whale!"

Our group of travelers is ecstatic to discover that on this particular day the whales of Laguna Ojo de Liebre (known to be less friendly than those of San Ignacio) are inclined to allow the boats to get quite close – and to approach the boats themselves.

A whale and her calf surface right next to our fearless females' craft.

"Oh my gosh!" So near, so enormous are these creatures and so amazed, so awe-struck is Eden that her vast vocabulary is reduced to three words.

That's one more word than Zac manages.

"Holy shit!" he exclaims.

The calf swims close and Eden and Zac lean out and reach for it. Contact!

"Miko! Come here!" Eden commands. "C'mon! Touch it!"

Miko tentatively reaches out until she, too, lays a hand on the whale's surprisingly soft skin. The other passengers follow suit. And then everyone is grinning wildly, high-fiving each other, exulting.

Those smiles only widen when, later, another whale surfaces within a few feet of the boat.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Holy shit!"

The whale spouts, covering Eden with a fine, fishy-smelling mist.

"Well," she laughs, carefully wiping off her camera, "now I can say that not only have I French-kissed a giraffe and hugged a shark, I have also been blown by a whale! How many people can lay claim to that?!"

Ummm, how many people would want to? 

It is a very happy group that clambers out of the boats, onto the dock, and into the bus that afternoon. Nearly everyone touched a whale. Many were blown by a whale. And one person (no, not Eden) even managed to catch a glimpse of "pink Floyd."

"Tonight, when we reach Cataviña," Karla announces, "we will have a party with food, tequila, and a piñata. In the meantime, we have a three and a half hour ride ahead of us, so let's finish off the damiana!"

The sight of the damiana bottle renews Eden's fierce desire to possess it. Never mind that she could walk into just about any Mexican liquor store and buy one. This particular bottle must be hers.

With her trademark flirtatious smile, Karla sets the stakes. "The damiana bottle will go to the person who gets the most correct answers on the word games I passed out yesterday."

Eden smirks. Game on, baby. Game on. 

Will Eden win the damiana bottle? And what will the journey north bring? Be sure to tune in to the final episode of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico!

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Whales of San Ignacio Lagoon

Original airdate: March 7, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 5 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

The anticipation is palpable even as the tour group wolfs down breakfast and piles into waiting vans. The dusty, bumpy, 2-hour ride to San Ignacio Lagoon does not dampen the enthusiasm and the conversation among the travelers is lively. The sparkling emerald green waters beckon as our intrepid heroines eagerly don warm clothing and life jackets, conscientiously apply sunscreen, and anxiously check and recheck photo equipment.

The group divides itself into smaller groups of 8-10 and board the awaiting boats, which then speed toward the whale observation area. It's a wet and wild 20-minute ride, water splashing over the passengers and leaving them coated in a salt crust that would come in handy that evening when drinking margaritas. ("Salt? No thanks. I'll just lick my lips.")

Eden spots the first whale. "Whale!" she announces excitedly, pointing to one spyhopping in the middle distance. It's a cry that would occur frequently over the next couple of hours. There are whales everywhere. Spouting and breaching in the distance. Surfacing and fluking nearby, their breathing audible. Eden and Miko are awed and overwhelmed, humbled and elated.



All too soon, the small boats turn for shore. Our fearless females and their fellow travelers are positively giddy over their first encounter with the gray whales of Baja.  They relive the highlights over lunch, but fall into contemplative silence during the return trip to the town of San Ignacio.

Conversation picks up again once everyone is on board the bus for the ride to Guerrero Negro. "Time to celebrate!" Karla, the petite, attractive, and flirtatious guide, proclaims. She produces a bottle of damiana, a traditional Mexican liquor made from the shrub of the same name. This causes a bit of a stir, not only because this is a group that enjoys drinking, but also because the bottle is unusually – some might even say, scandalously – shaped.

"I must have it. I will have it," Eden declares, though she knows quite well there is no guarantee of that as she is not the only one with a covetous gleam in her eye.

Karla proceeds to distribute shots of damiana. Miko savors its sweetness and the internal warmth it generates while Eden silently schemes to acquire the empty bottle. 

Who will win the prized damiana bottle? And what reception can our intrepid heroines and their geriatric companions expect from the whales of Laguna Ojo de Liebre? Tune in to Episode 6 to find out!

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Bonding on the Bus

Original airdate: March 6, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 4 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

In the hotel bar, the tour group pulls chairs into a giant circle and each person gives a short introductory speech. The size of group and the acoustics of the room prevent Eden and Miko from hearing much, but they do learn that 24 of the passengers are part of a loosely associated group living on California's central coast.

Day 2 dawns, bringing with it the prospect of another long day of travel. By 8:00 – this group runs on time, early even, much to Eden and Miko's pleasant surprise – everyone is on the bus and settling into their seats.

It's been evident from the start that most of the tour group does not quite know what to make of hyperactive Eden and her quiet companion. Our intrepid heroines make a huge stride toward winning them over when they unhesitatingly offer to give up their prime seats to a woman prone to motion sickness and her husband. And Eden's antics with the red pen used to write the day's seat assignments on the windows seem to generate a great deal of amusement.

Between the guide's commentaries and the whale biologist's lectures*, over lunch and dinner, Eden and Miko become acquainted with their fellow travelers – and come to the conclusion that most of them are pretty darn cool.

Even cooler is that the geriatric set apparently returns the sentiment, complimenting Eden on her hair (which, let's be honest, is stunning), seeking Eden's opinion on whether N. is gay (Eden's conclusion: "No self-respecting gay man would ever let himself be seen in public dressed like that."), and inviting our dynamic duo for postprandial margaritas. And thus it is that Eden and Miko swap stories with 4 of their new friends until they are kicked out of the bar. 

Caution: the following material may not be appropriate for all readers.

*Interesting facts from the whale biologist's lectures:

The gray whale migrates 12,000 miles annually between its feeding grounds in the Arctic and its breeding grounds in the lagoons of the Baja peninsula. It reaches a length of about 52 feet, a weight of 36 tons, and an age of 50–60 years. 

Gray whales appear to mate in a threesome comprised of one female and two males. The two males work together. One holds the female in place so she doesn't float off while the other mates with her. Then they switch.

Whale biologists refer to a whale's penis as "pink Floyd."

A single gray whale testicle can weigh up to half a ton. 40% of this weight is lost upon ejaculation.

Tune in for Episode 5, when Yumiko and Eden actually encounter the gray whales of San Ignacio Lagoon.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Over the Hill and Across the Border

Intended airdate: March 5, 2008 

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 3 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

"'Recommended' my ass," Eden mutters. "'Required' should be more like it. Of course, it would help if we had the sense God gave a billy goat."

Well aware that the situation could be a lot worse - as it was when their vehicle rolled down an embankment in Death Valley National Park 50 miles from anyone, anywhere – Eden and Miko don't panic. They are still trying to figure out what to do when providence smiles upon them. Two men camping nearby come to their rescue, guiding the car to solid, 2-wheel-drive-friendly ground.

Their RAV4 freed, our intrepid heroines promptly hightail it to a less rugged part of the refuge, where they hike into a shady canyon before driving to San Diego.

There, they bird the Tijuana Slough, then retire to their traumatized cat-sitter's ex-husband's condo to prepare themselves for their upcoming epic journey south of the border.

Eager to begin their Mexican adventure, Miko and Eden arrive at the designated meeting place early. As the other passengers on the tour arrive, it quickly becomes clear that the median age of our fearless females' 35 fellow adventurers is somewhere between "very old" and "practically mummified." Undaunted, Miko and Eden board the bus, find their seats, and listen to the orientation spiel.

The border crossing process goes smoothly and the bus wends it way through Tijuana to Ensenada, where lunch is served (for those of you who have been following Eden's dietary drama, this presents only the first of many food challenges to come for the woman who is sensitive to many of the most common ingredients in Mexican cuisine).

As the bus continues down Mexican Federal Highway 1, Eden and Miko appreciate the surprisingly lush scenery. The mountains and hills of Baja are awash in color. Yellow, orange, pink, and purple wildflowers bloom amongst flowering cacti, boojum trees (see photo), and yuccas. Frequent bathroom stops – a necessity with this age group – make progress south very slow, but eventually the bus arrives in the small coastal town of San Quintin.

Eden and Miko take a walk along the beach and watch the sun set over the Pacific before making their way to the hotel bar. It's time to get to know their fellow travelers.

Be sure to tune in to Episode 4, in which Eden and Miko bond with their geriatric fellow travelers.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, November 26, 2009

CATastrophe?

Original airdate: March 4, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 2 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

A couple of hours go by with no word on Hershey or the cat-sitter. Eden is seriously considering jumping in the car and driving the two and half hours it would take to get to Phoenix from Blythe. She is immensely relieved when she finally tracks down Laurie, who relays that (1) much to Jake's disappointment, she was not arrested and (2) after dropping Jake off, she returned to the condo to find Hershey sitting there calmly, blinking his green eyes, acting for all the world as if nothing out of the ordinary happened and he can't understand what all of the fuss is about. Laurie, however, is convinced that she will need years of therapy to recover from the trauma and is taking donations to help cover the cost of her treatment. #@%! cat.

The next morning Miko and Eden venture into enormous, little-visited Kofa National Wildlife Refuge without the recommended 4-wheel drive vehicle. They get about 5 miles before their car gets stuck. Deep ruts and loose gravel cause the tires to spin uselessly and the stench of burning rubble and dust fills the air.  

Will our intrepid heroines manage to extricate their car? To find out, tune in to Episode 3 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

© Eden Feuer

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Sound and the Furry

Original airdate: March 3, 2008

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 1 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Mexico.

Our intrepid heroines leave Phoenix and drive to Cibola National Wildlife Refuge, where they spend a peaceful afternoon birding along the Colorado River. The highlight of the excursion is Eden's glimpse of a bobcat, a rare and lucky occurrence.

Miko and Eden check into a Blythe, California, hotel and are tiredly unpacking when Eden's cell phone rings. It is the designated cat-sitter, Laurie, who reports that the police have come barging in after she failed to disarm the condo's alarm system in a timely manner. In the resulting confusion, one of the two cats, Hershey, has gone missing. In the background, Eden can hear Laurie's 6 year-old grandson, Jake, asking, "Grammy, are you going to jail?"

Be sure to tune in for Episode 2, when Eden learns the fate of her cat and her traumatized cat-sitter.

And remember to send in your fan mail!

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Denali National Park: America's Serengeti

National Geographic Traveler Magazine selected the following from over 400 entries as one of nine runners-up in its 2001 "America's Places of a Lifetime" Essay Contest and published it online at  http://www.nationalgeographic.com/traveler/0203/denali.html: 

“The mountain’s out!”


“Hey, Alix, Nick, Yumiko! The mountain’s out!"

All over Wonder Lake Campground, bedtime preparations stopped and heads popped out of tents. We cheered and clapped as the snowy summit of North America’s tallest mountain—McKinley—peeked out from above the clouds for the first time in more than two weeks.

“That’s so amazing,” I whispered reverently, awestruck, and humbled yet again. How many times did I say those words on this trip? I’ve lost count. Didn’t I say them when we saw three wolves loping along the park road? When grizzlies munched blueberries contentedly while we observed from the safety of a bus? When a short-eared owl landed in a nearby tree and stared at us for a long moment before silently taking wing? When a red fox hunted its prey in the grass? When golden eagles soared overhead? When an enormous bull moose with a huge rack emerged soundlessly from the thick morning fog?

Indeed, a mere six days in Alaska’s Denali National Park and Preserve had offered up a lifetime of magical moments. But it took only minutes to realize that Denali is unique. No other U.S. national park can lay claim to such diverse and visible wildlife. Or, for that matter, to a 20,320-foot-high mountain. At six million acres, the park is larger than Massachusetts—and has only one 90-mile road, most of which is neither paved nor open to private vehicles.

Magical only begins to describe the sense of adventure and discovery that accompanies time spent in Denali. And for those who are willing to step off the bus and blaze their own trails across the tundra or bushwhack through a mountain pass, the rewards are even greater. Perhaps, as we did, they’ll push themselves over that next ridge just to see what’s there and stumble across a den of hoary marmots, spot a grizzly on the ridge, or watch a caribou graze across a kettle lake. Or maybe they’ll come within feet of Dall’s sheep, flush a willow ptarmigan, watch beavers swim in their ponds, or listen to the calls of nesting loons.

As the sky turned pink with the setting of the sun (at 11 p.m.), I offered up a prayer of thanksgiving to the park gods and goddesses for all the miracles they allowed me to witness—and began planning my next trip to “America’s Serengeti.”



© Eden Feuer

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Eden's Post-trip Haiku

Original airdate: April 25, 2007

What?! No heated seat
To warm my well-traveled buns.
Bass ackwards country!



© Eden Feuer

Thursday, October 29, 2009

With This Sake, I Thee Wed

Original airdate: April 22, 2007

Konnichi-wa! Previously on The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan, a sweeping saga of tragedy and triumph in an exotic land both ancient and modern...

Following the rehearsal dinner, our intrepid heroines, having ingested a goodly amount of alcohol, stagger back to the Grand Palace Hotel. 

And now, Episode 4... 

At 10:30 a.m., our sleep-deprived but ever-intrepid heroines board the bus bound for the shrine where Sachi Morinaga and Nick Williams are to wed. The traditional Shinto ceremony, accompanied by dreadful high-pitched background music, is mercifully short. The traditional reception (back at the hotel), on the other hand, is an unmercifully long, very formal affair that drags on for 3 hours. 

Eden decides to skip the so-called "second party," a much less formal gathering of the young people, opting instead for the company of her mother-in-law. Miko and her sister Cathy, however, are game and head out for a night of revelry. 

The next day, our intrepid heroines' final full day in Japan, is rather uneventful, though they do manage to squeeze in a visit to a lovely temple at the base of Mount Bizan. They are currently making preparations for their trip home and are very hopeful that a flood of fan mail will herald their return to the United States. 

As The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan comes to a close, Eden offers this haiku:

Long journey to come.
Hours spent on a plane not fun.
May I have drugs now?
© Eden Feuer

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lighting a Fire Under Your Rear End... Literally

The producers of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan would like to share with our readers the following Foxnews.com article of April 17, 2007, brought to our attention by Dr. Cheston Berlin:

Now that's a hot behind.

Japan's leading toilet maker, Toto Ltd., is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday, according to the Associated Press.

The electric bidet accessory of Toto's Z series caught fire in three separate incidents between March 2006 and March 2007, according to company spokeswoman Emi Tanaka. The bidet sent up smoke in 26 other incidents, the company said.

"Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries," Tanaka said. "The fire would have been just under your buttocks." 

The company will repair 180,000 toilet units manufactured between May 1996 and December 2001 for free, she said. A manufacturing defect is thought to have led to the faulty wiring. 

Toto has been a pioneer in high-tech toilets fitted with pressurized water sprayers — a standard fixture in Japanese homes. 

The popular Z series features a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, built-in-the-bowl deodorizing filter, the "Tornado Wash" flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically. Prices range from $1,680 to $2,600. 

The model is not sold overseas. 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,266604,00.html

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Poetry of Life

Original airdate: April 20, 2007

Konnichi-wa! Previously on The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan...

Our intrepid heroines brave the curious stares of the staff and patrons at the hot springs to soak their aching muscles and other sore body parts.

Eden, feeling self-righteous and inspired by the experience, composes haiku.

The producers of this epic adventure are pleased to report that a flood of fan mail followed Episode 2.

Reverend Anthony Tang sent in 2 haiku of his own, which the producers would like to share with other loyal fans:

Beautiful spring day.
Black kites soaring overhead.
Two bikes, two sore butts.

Bicycling all day.
Onsen requires nakedness?!?!
Strips dignity too.

The producers of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan invite all readers to submit haiku inspired by the program.

And now, the long-awaited third installment of this sweeping saga of tragedy in an exotic land both ancient and modern...

The scent of incense permeates the air of Ishite-ji, the most famous temple of the 88 that makes up the island of Shikoku's pilgrimage circuit. Perhaps the smell goes to Eden's head, for once again she feels compelled to compose haiku. Here are her latest masterpieces, both in the classical 5-7-5 configuration:

White face not from here.
This my chance to speak English.
Where you from, whitey?

So cold is the night.
But get up to pee I must.
Ahh! Warm toilet seat.

A 4-hour train journey brings our intrepid heroines to Tokushima, where they check into the Grand Palace Hotel. Eden is deeply disappointed to discover that the toilets, while fancy, do not feature heated seats. She suggests finding another hotel, but Yumiko nixes the idea.

Resigned to three nights without a bun warmer, Eden and Yumiko freshen up and head to the rehearsal dinner. The beer and sake flow freely, washing away any initial awkwardness or shyness. Eden imbibes more beer in those three hours than she has in the last three years; Miko doesn't exactly go easy on the sake either, but she is much better at holding her liquor. 

In the company of other partygoers, our two heroines weave their way back to their hotel, hoping for some sleep before the next day's festivities.

Be sure to tune in to Episode 4, in which Yumiko and Eden attend a traditional Japanese wedding.

The producers of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan look forward to your emails and are eager to read your haiku.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Soaking It All Up

Original airdate: April 19, 2007

Konnichi-wa! When we last left our heroines, they were about to run laundry at their eco-friendly, New Age-y youth hostel.

And now, Episode 2 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan...

At last the weather gods smile upon our intrepid heroines, blessing them with a beautiful spring day. They take advantage of the warmth and blue skies by renting bicycles and cycling part of the Setouchi Shimanami Seaway. Black kites (birds) soar overhead as they ride this scenic route consisting of ten bridges that connect six islands in the Seto Inland Sea. The journey is easy on the eyes, but hard on certain areas of the body that are best left unmentioned.

Though forced to walk bowlegged for the rest of the day, Eden and Yumiko manage to visit Imabari and Matsuyama castles and to stagger up the steps of Isaniwa Shrine.

All of this exertion surely warrants a soak in the famous hot springs of Dogo Onsen Honkan. Of course, this involves public nudity, the thought of which traumatizes Eden to the point of near-catatonia. Still, she is determined to experience this aspect of Japanese culture, so she dumps her dignity, sucks in her stomach, and marches right into the onsen.

As our heroines soothe their tired muscles and aching unmentionables in the healing waters, Eden composes haiku in honor of Matsuyama, which lays claim to a famous haiku poet. Here is one of her 17-syllable efforts (free-form, not classical):

Warm is the toilet seat
Hot is the tea
Ice cold is the beer
Thank you

Tune in for Episode 3, when Eden and Yumiko party with Yumiko's relatives.

As always, fan mail is much appreciated.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, October 1, 2009

From the Land of the Rising Sun

Original airdate: April 18, 2007

Konnichi-wa! Welcome to The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan, a sweeping saga of triumph and tragedy set in an exotic land both ancient and modern. 

And now, Episode 1...

Our intrepid heroines are currently ensconced in an eco-friendly, New Age-y youth hostel in Matsuyama. Though they have decided to forgo having photos taken of their auras and have opted out of the seminar on unlocking one's potential, they are deeply appreciative of many of the hostel's other amenities, which include laundry facilities and the fanciest toilets Eden has ever seen (the latter have heated seats and are so high-tech that they have a control panel!).

Despite being dogged by poor weather, our heroines have done much in the days leading up to this point. They have wandered the historic streetscape of Kurashiki, visited the Peace Park in Hiroshima, and been molested by the tame deer on the gorgeous sacred island of Miyajima. They have gone birdwatching in one of Japan's three most beautiful gardens (though their fellow birders were more interested in practicing their English on Eden and Miko than on seeing any birds), slurped udon noodles, stayed in a traditional Japanese ryokan, and climbed the 1,368 steps to the inner shrine of Kompira-san (Eden's more than 2 years of step aerobics paid off in a big way). 

Our heroines, far from home and missing Eden's cats, would appreciate fan mail. 

Tune in next time for Episode 2 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Japan, when Eden faces the Japanese toilet and the public bath.

© Eden Feuer

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Going with the Flow

Original airdate: Saturday, July 15, 2006

First, congratulations to Tiffany, who has won our Reader Challenge!

Now, the final episode of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon...

Our intrepid heroes make their way from Grants Pass to the banks of the Wild and Scenic Rogue River. Over the course of the next four days, they run challenging rapids, spot a bald eagle and a black bear, and bond with their 4 guides, a rubber chicken named Walter, and 11 fellow rafters (yes, even the 4 kids and 17 year old boy). Miko executes a picture-perfect rescue when one of the inflatable kayaks flips. Eden swigs Chivas from the bottle with the guides, jumps off 15-20 foot high rocks (see photo), swims rapids, and sunburns her feet in a sexy zebra pattern. At trip's end, it is with heavy hearts and serious heat rash that Miko and Eden change into dry clothes and speed south toward home.

© Eden Feuer

Related link: ECHO River Trips

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Living on the Edge

Original airdate: Monday, July 10, 2006

Congratulations to Tiffany, who, like Deborah, correctly identified our short-eared owl. Both Deborah and Tiffany also answered correctly the question regarding the height of Iron Mountain. Tiffany's text messaged proof that she located Burns on a map means that she and Deborah are currently tied for the lead.

Now, Episode 4 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon

The sleazy motel in Bend is packed with middle-aged women - doubtless all quilters. Despite a decent meal the previous night at an upscale restaurant in happening downtown Bend, our intrepid heroes decide that they do not have the strength to fend off the Invasion of the Quilters. So they beat a strategic and hasty retreat to Crater Lake National Park.

Crater Lake is incredibly beautiful; the water is of a blue so vibrant and so intense that it is impossible to describe. Camera and tripod in hand, Eden spends an awful lot of time on the edge of the crater rim 1000 feet above the lake; Yumiko spends just as much time telling her to move back. They tramp up Garfield Peak Trail as far as they can (it's closed past a certain point due to cougar sightings) and, in nearby Umpqua National Forest, hike up to view 272-foot Watson Falls. Swatting away swarms of mosquitoes, they set up camp in the park's campground. The nights are very chilly - the temperature drops to 40 degrees - but our heroes survive by throwing on just about every item of clothing they brought.
When they leave Crater Lake National Park, they drive to Grants Pass, where they check into a Motel 6 that appears to cater to a rather skanky clientele and make preparations for the big adventure to come: 3 nights/4 days of rafting on the Rogue River (details will appear in Episode 5).

Today's Reader Challenge Questions:

For 20 points, name the landmass pictured above.

AND

For 40 points, name the source of the Rogue River.

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Invasion of the Quilters

Original airdate: Friday, July 7, 2006

First, congratulations to Deborah for correctly identifying the short-eared owl. Also, Deborah proved that she knows exactly where Sweet Home is. Impressive!

Now, Episode 3 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon...

Our intrepid heroes speed west from Burns to Bend. In Bend, they decide to wash their car, upon which many insects have met their destinies. This would normally not occasion much excitement, but Eden and Miko stumble upon one of those automatic touchless car washes - you know, the kind in which you sit in your car while this mechanical thunderstorm moves all around the vehicle. They are so amused by this miracle of modern technology that they seriously consider going through the car wash a second time. $7.00 seems a small price to pay for such entertainment, no?

From Bend, our fearless females forge into the formidable forests of the western Cascades. They hike Iron Mountain Trail, which is famous for wildflowers. The trail does not disappoint; it is awash in color and the views from the top are spectacular. Bonus: very few mosquitoes! Despite the steepness, Eden - who is in fairly decent shape if she does say so herself - chugs right up the trail (see photo). Yumiko - whose favorite form of exercise is swirling a good glass of Oregon Pinot Noir ("It's all in the wrist") - huffs and puffs her way up without complaint.

It is surprisingly early when they finish their hike, so they decide to drive a narrow and twisting scenic byway. Along the way, they stop to hike through old growth forest to beautiful Proxy Falls.

Though originally planning to camp, our fearless friends make their way back to Bend via the town of Sisters. Sisters is currently hosting a giant quilting festival. So many quilters have converged on this part of Oregon that hotels for miles around are completely booked. Eden and Miko spend some time fruitlessly searching for accommodation; finally, they stumble upon the Dunes Motel. Though AAA-approved, it's the kind of place that makes one think that maybe camping would have been the better choice!

Today's Bonus Question (worth 10 points): What is the elevation of Iron Mountain?

© Eden Feuer

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Revenge of the Mosquitoes

Original airdate: Thursday, July 6, 2006
 
Episode 2 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon

The morning quiet is shattered by the shrill buzz of an electric toothbrush. It would be the most pleasant buzz our intrepid heroes would hear all day as they faced hordes of blood-thirsty mosquitoes hell-bent on getting revenge for the untimely demise of so many of their sisters.


Still, despite innumerable itchy welts, Eden and Miko persevere, penetrating deep into Malheur National Wildlife Refuge to identify 45 different species of birds (see photo). Exhausted from peering through their binoculars for hours on end, they stumble home after 9:00 p.m. and treat themselves to freeze-dried camp food.

Tomorrow our intrepid heroes head west in search of wildflowers. They do not know if they will be camping near Sweet Home (another 10 Bonus Points to the first reader to locate Sweet Home on a map; congratulations Cousin Stephanie, winner of Episode 1's map challenge) or crashing in a Eugene-area hotel. If the latter, you can expect Episode 3 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon tomorrow night. If camping, Episode 3 should be available the night of July 10, when our intrepid heroes emerge from Crater Lake National Park.

Today's Reader Challenge (worth 10 points): Identify the bird in the photo.

Stay tuned and send in the fan mail!

© Eden Feuer

Sunday, August 30, 2009

On the Road with Eden and Miko

This, the very first episode of The Adventures, first "aired" on Wednesday, July 5, 2006:

Welcome to Episode 1 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon. In this episode...

Our intrepid heroes emerge from three nights in the Oregon backcountry desperately in need of a shower and clean socks. They have successfully camped in remote and primitive Hart Mountain National Antelope Refuge, where they spent two hours trying to choose a campsite ("What about this one?" "Uh, I don't know. It looks okay. What do you think?" "Uh..."), sent countless mosquitoes to an early death, stalked pronghorn and other wildlife, soaked their tired feet in the natural hot springs, and hiked to the falls of DeGarmo Canyon (photo).

This evening Eden and Miko are happily ensconced in a hotel in Burns, Oregon (10 Bonus Points to the first reader who locates Burns on a map). They are deeply appreciative of the running water, hot shower, and flush toilet. And, given that they have free wireless internet access, they expect to find many emails from their adoring public (that's YOU, in case you weren't aware) when they return tomorrow night from their adventures in Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

Be sure to check back for exciting Episode 2 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Oregon.

© Eden Feuer