Welcome to the Hotel California

Date of events depicted: 13 February - 15 February 2011

Two Crazy Chicks Productions, in association with WorldWild PhotoGraphics and What Am I Going to Tell Your Mother? Productions, is proud to present episode 7 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Costa Rica…

The telltale sound of buzzing causes Eden to look up from the computer. “Oh, for God’s sake, not another one!” she grumbles, thoroughly exasperated. Already she has escorted a number of bees out of room 30. She is tempted to ask for another room, but she and Yumiko have already moved twice.

The first time, it was not because of the bee in the bathroom that welcomed them to the Hotel California (our intrepid heroines were quite unfazed and merely arranged for their unwanted guest’s immediate removal); rather, the manager wanted them to have an ocean view. But two cold showers later, Yumiko announced, “Hot water is more important than an ocean view.” And so the dynamic duo moved back into their original digs following a hike in Manuel Antonio National Park.

Known for its lush rainforest, beautiful beaches, and abundant wildlife, the tiny park (only 682 hectares) is enormously popular among both tourists and Ticos. Despite the crowds of people thronging the Perezoso Trail, Yumiko and Eden saw two-toed sloth, three-toed sloth, basilisk, golden orb weaver, black iguana, lesser white-lined bat, yellow-crowned night-heron, charming hummingbird, blue morpho butterfly, howler monkey, and the iconic red-eyed tree frog.

Eden does some research into bees and concludes that the visitors to room 30 are diurnal. As long as they only hang about during the day, she decides, then there’s no real cause for concern.

Thus, she and Yumiko are not happy when one makes an appearance after 10:00 p.m. It buzzes angrily around the ceiling fan.

“How the heck am I supposed to get it out of here? It’s nowhere near a door.”

At Yumiko’s suggestion, Eden lures it out the balcony’s glass doors by turning off the room lights and turning on the exterior light.

“Now I’m going to stay awake all night worrying that more will come in.”

“Leave the balcony light on so any stray bees will be attracted to it.”

Our intrepid heroines drift into an uneasy sleep only to be wakened in the wee hours by the telltale sound of loud buzzing.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Listening intently, Eden rolls out of bed and cautiously searches for the intruder. There is no sign of it.

“All right, where are you, you little…” She glances through the glass doors and is momentarily rendered speechless. For there, just outside the room, is an entire swarm.

It’s not exactly what our intrepid heroines had in mind when they decided to travel to Costa Rica to find out what all the buzz is about. Even so, their two weeks there have convinced them that this country really is the bee’s knees.

© Eden Feuer

The Darién Scheme

Original airdate: February 16, 2009

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present the final episode of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Panama, an epic journey of discovery fraught with peril…

Not long after sunrise, the courageous company clambers into the canoe. Sea spray mists their faces as they cut across the gulf to the mouth of the Mogue. Their passage upriver disturbs herons, ibises, and shorebirds, which fly off with indignant squawks.

Upon docking, our fearless females and their fellows are greeted by a heavily “tattooed” Embera man in a shocking pink loincloth. He leads them to the village, which is home to some 300 indigenous people, many of whom live and dress in the traditional manner.

Chickens and painfully thin dogs scamper under tambos, thatched-roof houses on stilts. Half-naked children watch curiously as the daring adventurers slather on sunscreen and insect repellent and use the last of the masking tape to arm themselves against ticks.

Babú, a muscular, machete-wielding Embera guide, sets a brisk pace through the rainforest. Tiny purple flowers litter the trail and giant blue morph butterflies flutter amongst the trees. The distinctive liquid call of oropendolas echoes through the canopy.

The hikers are soon dripping with sweat; it runs in rivulets down their faces, mixes with sunscreen to sting their eyes, drips off their chins, trickles down their backs, and stains their shirts dark. Only Babú appears cool and dry..

Mercifully, there are few mosquitoes and no ticks to add to their discomfort as they make the two and a half hour trek to the harpy eagle’s nest.

There is no sign of the eagle. Hoping that it will soon return to the nest, Eden, Danilo (the 55-year-old Italian photographer who knows just enough English to tell dirty jokes), and Radek (the polite and well-traveled 30-something Pole) bushwhack their way to the ideal position from which to shoot photographs.

Babú repeatedly imitates the eagle’s cry, but the eagle does not appear. An hour passes. Still no eagle.

Disconsolate and disheartened, the group begins the return journey to the village. Disappointment, heat, humidity, fatigue, and the blistering pace upon which Deibys insists make it feel like a forced march.

Once back in Mogue, the brave band downs copious quantities of sweet soursap juice. Sugar, shade, and sitting revive their spirits and restore their strength.

They climb the notched log ladder of the communal tambo to watch the Embera perform traditional dances and music. Craig and Eden, fulfilling a vow made the night before at the dinner table, are “tattooed,” their skins painted with an indelible black dye made from the jagua fruit. The markings, a diamond pattern, are impervious to soaps and detergents and will disappear only when the external layer of the skin exfoliates, a process that takes approximately 2 weeks.

The sun is high in the sky as the group packs up its gear and makes its way toward the river. Eden, lost in contemplation, is pulled from her reverie by Deibys’ excited shout. “Sloth!”

It is the sloth. Close to the trail. Awake. Moving. Photogenic (well, as photogenic as a sloth can be).

It is probably the most photographed sloth in Panama by the time Eden reluctantly puts away her camera.

The last of the daylight disappears as the canoe commences the journey back to the lodge. In the darkness, the Embera at the helm navigates the waters of the Mogue with a skill that could only be born of years of experience. Fireflies flicker along the banks.

When our intrepid heroines clamber onto the beach at Punta Patiño under the same awe-inspiring spectacle of stars that welcomed them to the Darién their first night, they do so with the knowledge that it is for the last time. For tomorrow they will return to Panama City, say goodbye to their newfound friends, and begin packing for the flight home.

© Eden Feuer

The Asphalt Jungle

Original airdate: February 5, 2009

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Panama, an epic journey of discovery fraught with peril.

And now, Episode 1: The Asphalt Jungle…

Our intrepid heroines face the first test of their courage immediately upon their emergence into the sticky Panama City night: the taxi ride to the apartment where they are staying. Panama City drivers are, in a word, insane. Stop signs are merely suggestions to be ignored, as are speed limits and lane lines. Eden loses count of the number of times she thinks, We're gonna die. 

The next morning's jungle boat adventure on Gatun Lake brings sightings of howler and white-throated capuchin monkeys, green iguanas, crocodiles, basilisks (known as "Jesus lizards" for their ability to walk on water), toucans, and sloths. It's interesting and informative, but doesn't generate the same adrenaline rush as the ride through rush hour traffic.

Perhaps because they seek that rush – or perhaps because they simply don't know when to call it quits – our heroines venture out again into the sweltering afternoon heat and hail a taxi. Using a combination of gesture, guidebook Spanish phrases, and English, Yumiko and Eden manage to communicate their desire to go to Miraflores Locks, where they watch gigantic cargo ships and oil tankers transiting the Panama Canal go through the locking process.

Be sure to tune in for Episode 2, when Yumiko and Eden head into the rainforest in search of avifauna and other jungle critters.

Remember: fan mail is not only appreciated, it's expected!

© Eden Feuer