Totally Ticked Off

Original airdate: February 15, 2009

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 6 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Panama, an epic journey of discovery fraught with peril…

There are some things that one is better off not knowing about beforehand, Eden thinks as our intrepid heroines and their stalwart companions are preparing for a hike into the tropical dry forest. Among them: the fact that during the dry season the Darién is rife with ticks.

“Tuck your pants into your socks,” Deibys instructs. “Then wrap your ankles with masking tape, sticky side out. That way, when the ticks try to crawl up your legs, they’ll get stuck. Oh, and be sure to spray yourself with plenty of insect repellent.”

Looking oh-so-jungle chic and reeking of DEET and sunscreen, the brave band sets forth.

The heat and humidity are oppressive.  And there are ticks. Lot of ticks. Ticks of all sizes. Swarming over our fearless females’ hiking boots. Creeping up their socks. Sticking to the masking tape. Crawling over their fallen comrades and sneaking up the pant legs of our peerless protagonists.

So even as Yumiko and Eden look for black-tailed trogon and parrot snake, they must keep an eye out for those persistent little parasites.

Upon return to the lodge, the dynamic duo goes through the de-ticking process. They gingerly remove the tick-covered masking tape. They pick stray ticks off of their clothes. They check under their shoelaces and between their toes. They examine every spot, freckle, and speckle on their skin.

Such trauma clearly requires a postprandial siesta. Lulled to sleep by a welcome breeze, the chattering of birds, and the gentle swaying of the hammocks, our hardy heroines and their fellows rest and recuperate.

Fortunately, the afternoon’s scheduled activity does not involve the risk of acquiring an unwanted, bloodsucking, disease-carrying hitchhiker. Upon rising, the group piles into the canoe and goes in search of wildlife. They spot crab-eating raccoons, ospreys, and red-lored parrots. As frigatebirds and pelicans soar overhead, they watch the sky turn pink with the setting of sun.

Over dinner, Deibys briefs the troops on the big day to come, the day that the nine of them head deep into the jungle in hopes of seeing Panama’s national bird, the enormous, endangered (and very odd-looking) harpy eagle. This is the reason Yumiko and Eden have ventured into the Darién.

Though the tides dictate an early departure for the remote Embera village of Mogue, the travelers linger at the table, joking and laughing like old friends. It is with reluctance that our intrepid heroines return to their cabin, but they know that they will need their strength for the adventure that awaits them.

Will our fearless females see a harpy eagle? Tune in to our next episode to find out!

© Eden Feuer

The Darién Disruption

Original airdate: February 14, 2009

Two Crazy Chicks Productions is pleased to present Episode 5 of The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Panama, an epic journey of discovery fraught with peril…

“Our flight to La Palma has been delayed again. This time indefinitely,” Deibys, the Ancon Expeditions guide, announces.

Our intrepid heroines and the rest of the tour group are not thrilled but they are not all that surprised either. They have come to understand that this sort of thing is not atypical for Panama.

“I have a proposal,” Deibys says after the group ingests a barely edible lunch in the cafeteria and there is still no sign of the plane. “We can drive. It will take some time to get a vehicle and a qualified driver.”

A qualified driver?

“The road is in very bad condition,” Deibys explains. “It will be a very bumpy ride.”

The prospect of a long, very bumpy ride is infinitely more appealing than sitting in a tiny, dingy airport and waiting for God knows how long. The group votes unanimously to accept Deibys’ proposal. An hour later, they are on the pothole-pitted Pan-American Highway heading east.

It takes four and half hours to reach Puerto Kimba, where our fearless females and their companions board a motorized dugout canoe.  The sun is setting as they navigate the Rio Iglesias to the mighty Tuira River. White ibises fly by. Bottle-nosed dolphins cavort. Parrots squawk loudly.

The last of the daylight fades and Venus is shining brightly in the western sky when the canoe enters the Golfo de San Miguel. Plankton disturbed by the passage of the boat bioluminesce, tiny green stars in the water like a reflection of the Milky Way above.

It is a two-hour journey to Punta Patiño, Ancon’s private nature reserve. Under a breathtaking array of stars, the canoe pulls up onto the beach and our peerless protagonists disembark by the light of some headlamps.

They take a moment to douse themselves in insect repellent, then shoulder their backpacks and make the walk to the lodge.

The group assembles for a late dinner and is briefed on the next day’s activities before being shown to their cabins.

“Rustic” would be a generous way of describing the accommodations. A single bare bulb (powered by a generator that runs from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM) flickers dimly overhead. Bugs crawl on the floor. There is no hot water.

Too exhausted to care, our intrepid heroines tacitly agree to ignore whatever is creeping in the shadows, take a cold shower, and fall into bed. 

© Eden Feuer

Adventures Star On Strike

Original airdate: February 10, 2009

Eden Feuer, star of the hit series The Adventures of Yumiko and Eden in Panama, has gone on strike to protest the lack of fan mail she has received.

"I work hard," she says, pouting. "I brave biting insects, suffocating heat and humidity, hardcore birders... Is it so much to ask for a little appreciation?"

Co-star Yumiko Ishida is standing by her traveling companion. "People look at Eden and only see the intrepid adventurer with great hair. They don't see beyond the tough exterior to the sensitive soul with approval issues."

The Adventures will resume, Eden and Yumiko assert, once Two Crazy Chicks receive sufficient accolades from their adoring public.

© Eden Feuer